2013年7月30日,17:39PM
Let me tell you about my story that happen this month of july...
The 1st of July to me was ver exciting and refreshing, im looking forward for a brand new start of my life. I've been active and lively in the first day long, so much positive things in my mind that makes me wanna love myself more and more. I learn to ignore those selfish thoughts everywhere so much that my classmates are better than my last years companions.
But i never expected this things will be destroyed and i became more weak and helpless. I've met a man whose actually considered as my ex- boyfriend when i was in 2nd year. His name is Wilson, at first i was very confuse if ill gonna give him a second chance and start a new relationship as of now that im already in my maturity and happens that my Ex-boyfriend before him was already happy and contented to his girlfriend right now so i think i should move on too. And unexpectedly, it happens that we just exchange partners. Wilson's Ex- girlfriend was my Ex-boyfriend's girlfriend right now, how great was fate isn't it ?
I suddenly came in the urged that Wilson was courting Jessa, my classmate, while he's courting me so i make sure that im playing safe thta no ones gonna be harmed or hurt when i answer him "YES". The nightmare turned into a close relationship, i thought in the first time that Wilson's good enough to be my boyfriend again but its NOT. It turned worst, i even got home 9:00 pm in the evening and even broked just because of Jessa's birthday and she even dont wanna sent us home, she even refuse of Wilson and i are going home now. That time i've felt different that there's actually happening something wrong and i just to confirm it first.
Days passed and as expected everythings got worst and so it happens that Wilson will be sent to Cavite cause he might fail his studies in Valenzuela. We broke up, because my friends told me that i should gave him up or else it is me who will gonna be hurt in the end. My FRIENDS, they comfort me in my times of feeling down, AND I EVEN FELL INLOVE to that UNEXPECTED PERSON.
Im not going to mention his name, well i myself dont know either how ive fell inkove to this person but there's one thing i know, he's way to better than Wilson. In times of failure in my life they're always there for me im lucky to know them and i wish this bonding will last until school year ends.
But everything didnt go the way i want. Ive been fooled again, or should i say i EXPECT TOO MUCH. I cannot assume in things that im not sure of, so i see it for myself. To know that he has this "LONG TIME CRUSH" really hurt me, to know that he wants this girl to be a part of his life, to know that there's a girl better than you that he want to complete his everyday, To know those things feels like i've been stabbed a million knives in my heart, how can he even love me ? How can he even see my worth ? Well i thinks, i just EXPECT TOO MUCH.
So today ? Here i am, Faking myself. In such stress i can even SMILE for them just for them to know that EVERYTHING's OKAY WITH ME. So that i dont even look hopeless nor weak in front of them, I just wanted to ake my past days back. Where there i dont bother of being in love.
As for now i was focusing in my studies for its my horoscope's says. Im forgetting my feelings for him at the same time forbidding myself of having relationships again. I want to enjoy my life without those things on me, I want to be FREE. And for now on, this promise wont be break kill me if im wrong. FROM NOW ON I WILL GIVE MY HEART A BREAK.
